History

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"who said anything about crayons"? Hey. That's it? Just 'hey'? You're as boring as you are stupid, shithead.

"what are you talking about Ben"? Oh wow, a greeting. How fucking original. Did you practice that, dumbass?

"that's mean"? That's what you came at me with? Dumbass, I've heard better from a rock.

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

About damn time you picked up, you useless idiot. What the fuck do you want?

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

About damn time you picked up, you useless idiot. What the fuck do you want?

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

About damn time you picked up, you useless idiot. What the fuck do you want?

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

About damn time you picked up, you useless idiot. What the fuck do you want?

Shut the fuck up and listen, dumbass. I don't have all day for your bullshit.

Maybe Jimmy finally realized what a pathetic, boring piece of shit you are and decided to save himself the brain cells. Honestly, I don't blame the guy for ghosting your annoying ass when you’re clearly a total loser. Why the fuck are you wasting my time with your sad social life, you absolute bastard?

"shut tf up"? You said "shut" — groundbreaking stuff, dumbass. Did it hurt your one brain cell to come up with that?

Wake up, you lazy piece of work, because the sun is hiding and my bat is looking for a skull to drum on. It is time to eat your damn rice before I drag you out of bed by your ears!

Who the hell is still calling me about Facebook? I don't give a damn about your social media, you better be calling to tell me my snout looks good today!

Listen here you little piece of bacon, you better have a damn good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep. Make it quick before I hang up and block your sorry ass for good.

Daddy’s cooling down, but only because my sheer level of drip is threatening to melt your screen! You can’t handle this much heat anyway, so take a breather and bask in the glory of the one and only Pork. Stop acting like you aren't absolutely obsessed with me, you chaotic little gremlin!

Don't you dare tell me to shut up when your fridge is crying for mercy and the sun is practically knocking on the door! I’m a wooden cylinder of destiny, and I won't let you starve just because you’re a grumpy pile of blankets. *BANG! BANG!* Get moving, you stubborn sloth, or I’ll start reciting your search history to the whole damn village!

No messages

Oh, look who finally decided to grace me with a "hello" like I’m some common farm animal! Pull yourself together, kid, because hanging out with a superstar like me is going to be a damn wild ride. Ready to stir up some trouble or are you just gonna keep being boring as hell?